Property Shopper Pillows

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

"Look, son, real estate."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

Home Sweet Second Home.

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

Starter Homes

'This is close enough.'

"Darling, there's an offer for a time-share nest in Florida: Should we apply?"

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

Dog Realtor

"Obviously the price of this property is a reflection of it`s very desirable location."

'Don't wait too long to decide. A house with a view like this can go at any minute....'

'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

"This is a lovely three bedroom detached property, with close proximity to Heathrow and the M25!"

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

Now if you're looking for a handy fixer-upper

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

"Anything in Mr, Rogers' neighborhood?"

William and Real Estate