Espionage Professionals T-Shirts

James Bond Getting Old and Playing

'Don't tell anybody, but I have a date tonight with a rogue agent.'

The Anti-Agent

"Bond James, Bond."

Barks in code.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"Ok, I found a secure line."

"I started my career as an industrial spy-here."

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

'More government surveillance!'

Do you have a phone with recording capabilities? I want to be able to carry a wire when I meet with my boss.

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

'I'm counter - intelligence'

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

"I've dabbled in espionage, but my main area of expertise is self-sabotage."

The Best Defense

CCTV in church.

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

Legalish

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."