Espionage Professional T-Shirts

Park bench reserved for Mi6 recruitment.

Mission Food

"Take it. It's the dress code."

"You can stop humming 'Private Eyes' by Hall & Oates now!"

The Anti-Agent

"Bond James, Bond."

Barks in code.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

'More government surveillance!'

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

"Ok, I found a secure line."

"I started my career as an industrial spy-here."

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

Do you have a phone with recording capabilities? I want to be able to carry a wire when I meet with my boss.

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

The Best Defense

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

"I've dabbled in espionage, but my main area of expertise is self-sabotage."

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

Legalish

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

'I'm counter - intelligence'