Esl Instructor Pillows

"Ain't no way y'all shuld be here if ya don't speak English real good!"

"According to this poll, when asked if there was sufficient English as a Second Language instruction in their school district, 35 percent of ESL students said 'yes', and 65 percent didn't understand the question."

Pig Latin next to Pigeon English classes.

'Why do I always get a teaching assistant whose pronunciation is awful?'

A Puppet Named Juan

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Campaign for Plain English

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Punctuation Police

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Shakespeare was bisexual

Thomas Hardy

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

Sometimes Y Turn

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

Lord Byron

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

Kirsten Johnson

Staff Yearbook

Present Tense/Present Simple/Present Progressive/Present Perfect/Present Past.

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

"After reviewing your resume, I don't think you should be teaching English - I think you should be study English."

Some Hamlet-based puns

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

The Raven in Flight

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

"Why can't you be more like little Hester Prynne? She's getting straight A's."