Elocution Teacher Pillows

'Say 'AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRAAAAA', Mr Tazan.'

Cockney elocution teacher

A Puppet Named Juan

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

Nathaniel Hawthorne

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'They all want to play the star.'

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

'Hamlet'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Punctuation Police

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

Trump! The Musical

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Shakespeare was bisexual

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"If it appears that I only act like I'm working, it's because I minored in Theater."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

Thomas Hardy

Madame Rejane- Famous French Actress in the Part of Madame Sans Gene

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

Shakespeare. Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet. "To be or not to be, that is the question". "We are such stuff …As dreams are made of …" "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would small as sweet." That Shakespeare guy had some neat sound bites.

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

'Now, what's Italian for pizza?'

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.