Esl Pillows

English As A Second Language

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

"You funnin' me, bub?"

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

The Mating Call of the Modern Youth

'Jeff is a tackle on his online college football team.'

The Elephant in the Womb

'Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!'

"Be or be not. There is no question."

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Cartooning 101: Figure Drawing

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

Internet Cafe.

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

Psychic diving competition.

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

Monosyllabic Crisis Center

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

'Neighbors...friends...artists models.'

Museum of Natural Cliches

'I see a beautiful young woman. You're naked, she's leaning over you. Oh, wait. She's performing your autopsy! '

"I'm recommending more video games. I'm worried about his hand eye coordination."

Street painter puts real face on man with happy face.

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

"If you want my opinion you're damned if you do and damned if you don't."

"I though you said I should take the ball and slowly meander around with it."