Equipment Expert Gifts

'Oh! How nice! An espresso machine!'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"The official measure of an inch is three iPhones stacked on top of each other."

"Yep, first the gold run out, then the microchip manufacturing went overseas."

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

"We'd like to run a few tests on you to work the kinks out of it."

You are Here. We know where you've been.

'Here, here and here the copier was jammed...'

Cardiologist/Truckdiologist: Medical help for Trucks.

'Well, there's another strikeout. ... get that bat company on the phone. I'm having second thoughts about their so-called 'volume discount.''

Busy, Busy, Busy

CIA Recommended TVs

'We now have the technology to record your dreams. From now on, your dreams are our intellectual property.'

Dogfights/Drone Fights

"You have repetitive motion injury."

"Are we sure this is how we get our workloads into the cloud?"

The herd of hearing.

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

'This ladder is rotten!'

'I'm afarid your son has all the classic elements of geekism,minus the technical expertise.'

Attention: Due to a lack of interest we have dropped the APATHY channel - Sorry for any inconvenience.

'You're not quite what we had in mind.'

Man and woman being spied on from their TV.

2016 Policlicks

'I'm here in the rainforest to show you how to fashion an ipod using only twigs and moss.'

'Yes,we do have a small tractor that you don't have to pay a big-tractor price for.'

"A brand new one will cost you $18. If I repair it the cost would be $397."

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

"Shredder broken again?"

"No thanks. I'm a knowledge worker."

"According to the fitness watch the remote moves more than you do."