Epitaph Collector Pillows

Last Tweet Cemetery.

A tombstone in a cemetery reads "Prentiss W. Burchmeyer - Born July 16, 1908, Dined at the White House May 3, 1984, Died March 30 1987".

A gravestone with an epitaph that reads "Here lies Helayne Spinak - 103 pounds, go prove it."

Life was a b***h, now this.

Gravestone: See You Soon

I had better days. R.I.P.

Gravestone of a man who refused to wear a mask during the pandemic

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Barristers

Cat statues on entrance gate

"Oh great, the printer is down."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

Teapot

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

His last words were, "Stop correcting my grammar!" Here Lays Fred P. Smink.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I wonder what this was for."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"No wonder I'm getting feedback!"

The Unknown Attorney: The First To Double His Billable Rate.

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

'How old is this vase?'

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

Mr Punch's Design for A Statue to Miss Nightingale

"Everyone is so cynical these days."