Environmental Analysts T-Shirts

"If sea levels don't rise and if I spent a fortune on size 104 rubber boots for nothing, I won't forget you eco clowns!"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

Pipe Dream.

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

Light Bulb Moment

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"Morning, all!"

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

Lethal Presentation

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

"My family has been fishing these waters for nearly 40 years. . ."

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

Child protects planet with umbrella.

Time Is Money

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

Chaos Theory - a butterfly flaps its wings...

Health Advisory: Flint Water has lead, Ann Arbor water has dioxane.

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'The only problem downtown offices have using solar power is finding a long enough extension cord.'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'