Enthusiastic Royalist Gifts

'Quiet desperation -- that's the best kind.'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Now that's an afro!'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

King George I

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"He's a guard dog."

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

Czarcasm

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

The Unhappy King

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

'I screwed up royally!'