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'...And now it's time for today's celebrity hissy-fit....'

Showbiz Awards

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

The First Annual Game Show Week.

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"Werewolves of London..."

Big screen TV.

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

Giant slug attacks a city

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

Musical notes bubble gum.

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

"Which part are you reading for?"