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'...And now it's time for today's celebrity hissy-fit....'

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Showbiz Awards

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.

Cut!

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"It turns out that if you give a hundred monkeys a hundred typewriters, eventually they'll turn out the work of Tarantino."

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Reese Witherspoon

The First Annual Game Show Week.

What's an Imax cave?

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Astral Projection

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

"Werewolves of London..."

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Big screen TV.

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

Musical notes bubble gum.

Giant slug attacks a city

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'