Enlightenment Seeker Pillows

"Are we there yet?"

"I have reached the higher plane of consciousness and enlightenment."

'Oh yeah! First to reach enlightenment... Right here! Eat my dust, bitches!'

"Now I have a question for you."

Guru sells mountaintop franchises.

David Hume

"Sure, we're attaining enlightenment, but we're not building EQUITY."

"But if I become one with the Universe, won't I get BLAMED for everything?"

'I can explain the mysteries of the universe but no one can explain why teachers don't get paid enough!'

'I know, but I still hate Mondays.'

Please take a number.

'I'll be danged- that's exactly what mom told me.'

"...To sum up, then, everything is illusory - Do you guys have any questions?"

'Everything is illusory, but television is ESPECIALLY illusory.'

Guru.

'Don't sweat it, kid - Just say something touchy-feely and he'll go aways happy.'

'Sorry I'm late - there was a mixup, and I got reincarnated in Naples instead of Nepal.'

'Maybe if we put an ad on Craig's List....'

'Hi! I just moved to the next mountain - may I borrow a cup of Karma?'

"Damn.. I think I left the gas on..."

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

'Two bowls of gruel? -- What is this, a feeding frenzy?'

'Meaning of life, eh? -- Who wants to know?'

"Forgot my keys."

WISDOM! WHILE IT LASTS!, 'Maybe the sign wasn't such a hot idea after all.'

'Maybe you just weren't cut out for enlightenment.'

'Oh, sure - It's always about extinguishing YOUR ego, isn't it?'

Ascetic sitting on edge of tall building

'Goopta took early retirement.'

"Thirty-seven years up here and my ears STILL pop!"

"Looks like Goopta just has a major paradigm shift."

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

"The wise man of the mountain? Don't be silly, a wise man wouldn't be sitting on a mountain freezing his butt off!"

"No-Selfie?"

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."