Seekers Of Enlightenment Pillows

"As for the meaning of life, it doesn't have to suck."

'I found enlightenement, and I still pull down my $250,000 per. What more can I ask?'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Oh, crap.'

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

My God, I need to fart.

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

Guru.

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"All the celebrities come here."

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

''Meaning of Life' is the next mountain over. I teach auto mechanics.'

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'