Seekers Of Enlightenment Pillows

'I found enlightenement, and I still pull down my $250,000 per. What more can I ask?'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

My God, I need to fart.

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

Guru.

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"All the celebrities come here."

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

''Meaning of Life' is the next mountain over. I teach auto mechanics.'

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

Sport, Political, Religious and New Yorker Cartoonist Gurus.

'I'm being denied access to the Warren Buffett within me.'