Enlightened Viewer T-Shirts

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

"That's the preacher's dog."

"You've been served."

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'Those viewers who disagree with our editorial on TV violence has better keep their big mouths shut!'

'Oh, I'm okay, I guess - I just thought enlightenment would be more FUN than this.'

"'I think, therefore I am'? - How illusory can you GET?"

'You use HERBS to help you levitate? - How does THAT work?'

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

OM, SWEET OM

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

Truth