Enlightened Scholar T-Shirts

'Nothing against you, but I'm thinking about going back for my master's.'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"Showoff"

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Guru.

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study.'

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"All the celebrities come here."

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

"I don't know why we try so hard to get the right answers. There isn't even a prize."

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

"'I think, therefore I am'? - How illusory can you GET?"

'Oh, I'm okay, I guess - I just thought enlightenment would be more FUN than this.'

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"Do I need to know this stuff to get into medical school?"

OM, SWEET OM

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."