Enlightened Chew Toy Critic T-Shirts

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

'it's the last bite that worries me.'

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

"Put away the gummy candies and bring out the apples. The kid's mother is our dentist!"

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

"Med Brittle"

"If you're not a good boy, Santa will bring you only educational toys."

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

'I don't like to complain, but I'm getting a little tired of crudités.'

"I got horse dewormer..."

"Let's see if there's another witch's cottage with a better candy selection."

"There are mysteries up here on the 13th floor. Like who keeps locking the exit door? Why is that clock always 12 minutes fast? And who actually eats the liverwurst sandwiches from that machine?"

Candy Land for Adults

"You forgot his tail."

Bar None

"Our house wine is abominable."

Squeaker Trophies

'I hate chocolates that are gooey inside but I love Valentine's cards that are all gooey inside.'

"Ewww – Cabernet with tuna fish?"

"Well, thanks for the box of raisins, but we can't promise you a very good Trick or Treat rating on Yelp."

'Owing to the very real threat of biscuit-related injuries, the snack of choice for meetings will now be blancmange.'

Two kids caught playing dots & boxes on a Damien Hirst painting, spelling the word 'so-so'.

'I had no idea a puppy could be so destructive.'

"I see the world as a giant chew toy."

"In my day, we got bubblegum in our hair, not drones!"

'Chew each bite ten times? †I'm a busy man!'

Trump in Disappointing Halloween Candy

"My dog chewed up my steering wheel. Then he started gnawing on my floor mats and now he bit off my seat belt. What do you recommend?"

So your idea is that we reorientate our global production to place more emphasis on small chewy things that taste of meat...EVERYBODY'S opinion is of value( even if some may be of more use than others)

'Manna! Matzoh! If I knew the food would be so bad on this trip, I would have stayed in Egypt.'