Enjoys Witty Cartoons T-Shirts

'Actually the only drawback to the place is the proximity to the prison.'

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

Would you like something from the bar, miss? It looks like you might need it.

'It's a bill collector!'

"He calls himself orange roughy, but I remember when his name was slimehead."

'He thinks he's the cat's meow ever since he was made department head.'

New chess piece: Cat - It can go wherever it wants, or not go anywhere at all.

Need to know basis

Golfer in a tree.

"You must be the demolition team."

Play dead. We have to make them think their new sprays work.

Eskimos Rowing Out to Igloo

'We've talked it over, and we've decided to hold you for observation.'

"Mind if I have the guys over to watch some poker?"

'However, the jurors unanimously agreed that Blogojevich is the politician with the best hair!'

"I can't shake the feeling that people don't respect me."

Gravedigger

'Don't use the sauce-it's insulting to the chef.'

"Incorrect postage, wrong zip code...it's your type we encourage to use email!"

'Do you have a reservation?'

"I mean, have you tried not being an Elephant?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Sleeping Fish.

Inevitable?

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."

'You didn't chew, did you ?!'

'You must be the one interested in the job as a temp?'

'Between you and me, I'd rather be me.'

'Don't mind Jacob. He was raised by dogs and is just committing you to memory.'

Welcome to Hell.

'Watch out for falling archers.'

'Snake eyes or no snake eyes, the tall, skinny guy at the end of the table wins again.'

Bird Feeder Restaurant

'Can't you take 'em down the recycle centre like everybody else?'

"I wish you'd shut that door! - Were you born in a barn??"