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Discomfort Eating

'Oh, come on! you know I can't read.'

Horror movies

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

'Guys! The turnovers are KILLING us!'

'Wheee!!' (Penguin using Walrus as a trampoline)

'You are pigeon toed.'

"Maybe we should follow that guy..."

Gender Reveal

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

Tuba Player Stores a Barrel of Beer

"He calls himself orange roughy, but I remember when his name was slimehead."

'He thinks he's the cat's meow ever since he was made department head.'

Need to know basis

New chess piece: Cat - It can go wherever it wants, or not go anywhere at all.

"You must be the demolition team."

Golfer in a tree.

Play dead. We have to make them think their new sprays work.

Eskimos Rowing Out to Igloo

'I hate to let you go, but I can't afford an astrologer AND a spin doctor.'

Man putting his brain in glass before bed.

"Give me a minute—I'm working on my core."

'This vacation has just come to a screeching halt - My pocket's just been picked.'

'However, the jurors unanimously agreed that Blogojevich is the politician with the best hair!'

The final secret-santa gift exchange between the Greeks and the Trojans.

Europe Feeding the Ukraine Fascism.

"Incorrect postage, wrong zip code...it's your type we encourage to use email!"

'Don't use the sauce-it's insulting to the chef.'

"I like your new 37.8541 liter hat, Jack."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Grim Reaper buys chocolate.

Wild Bill Hickok. Really wild Bill Hickok

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."

'Do you have a reservation?'

'That's a good example of the Prime Minister's Temper or P.M.T. as we call it here.'