Enjoys Clever Solutions Pillows

A man throws a stick for a dog to hang himself.

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

'Sharon's into genetic engineering!'

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

"We're all well aware of the madness, Phipps...where's the method?"

"Tea parties are passé. I'm opening a craft brewery."

"I'm a home-tech specialist. Your daughter called us. I'm here to convert her doll house into a smart doll house."

Man rolling ball up a hill

"Hi, it's me. My mum's confiscated my mobile." (Kid talks to friend using margarine tub and string).

'I think I see your problem. You didn't use the swear words listed in the assembly instructions.'

'Well you know the old saying... if you can't beat 'em you can always google someone who can.'

"I tied his line around this log, then I tug on it once in awhile. He's gullible, because it's been three hours now."

"We need a miracle. Who runs that department?"

"Baldo! Get away from my truck!"

'Creative right?'

"I know I'm too young to drive. How about getting me a driverless car?"

Child builds themselves a sled.

"Ok, if we could just synchronise chairs..."

Back scratcher

"Axle! - Will you STOP messing about??"

"The boss wants me to create a computer algorithm that converts hindsite into foresight."

Modern money

Ask Sadie. My wife and I are getting a puppy soon. Any training tips? - Jay and Emily, Charlotte, NC. Sent from my iPad. Oh yes. A tip: Have him poop on your @#$% iPad, you high-tech boobs! Irrelevant and gratuitous. Sent from my lungs. You need the toothbrush app.

The Latter Day Wisdom of Solomon

"Sure, paying the bills on-line is faster...but we go through our money faster too!"

"I have a real love/hate relationship with email."

'It's not as effective as the others but the kids love it.'

'Anything new on your roller coaster design?'

'Yeah sure it's cooking us from the inside out, but think of all the money we'll save on heating.'

"Latest in computerised cash management."

"It's got great memory, but no common sense."

"Am I a bad parent for giving him a weighted blanket?"