Tech-savvy Merrymaker Pillows

Christmas cracker goes 'ping' instead of 'bang'.

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

"We do all those old tricks electronically now."

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

"I think someone put Bob on vibrate."

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

"Do you really know what you're doing, or do you Google-search know?"

"We're in a dying industry, and you're just sitting there! Well, I'm going to do something about it-I'm starting a Web site."

Little Piano

'Jenkins won the health savings award with his suggestion that we have our employee hernia checks done at the airport by TSA agents.'

'Give me a Y... give me an E... give me an S...

"I wanted crisps but this assessed my body mass index and gave me an apple ..."

"I wonder how many Facebook likes I'll get."

Finding a Zombie House on Halloween.

"...but before we begin our slide presentation on accounts receivable...this is how I make a bunny!"

"I'm texting my compliments to the chef!"

"Let me clarify that this is your employee performance evaluation, Thompson. It is not a roast in your honor."

'We usually don't make toasts in board meetings.'

'That brush - how many dpi?'

Old father time saving app

Modern Day Christmas Carolers

'Well this shouldn't last long.'

"Those in favour, honk!"

"Latest in Microwave Technology."

"It's OK, Trump will pardon me."

"Mom, call the appliance store. The self-cleaning stove isn't cleaning itself!"

'Look closely. Do you see the one who stole your identity?'

'I used to be confined to my backyard, but with this mobile device, I can do my business anywhere.'

'My ringtone is a real attention getter. It sounds like a squeaky toy.'

Make-your-own-fun at the morgue.

"Dear, putting your phone down while eating is not 'living off the grid.'"