Thrifty Innovator Pillows

"Why fork out all that money for a zimmer frame when you can get one of these for nothing at the supermarket."

'Yeah sure it's cooking us from the inside out, but think of all the money we'll save on heating.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

"We didn’t have enough in the budget to replace you with a real robot."

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

'This way, we'll always have rose petals on the bed. Pretty romantic, huh?'

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

'I'm beginning to think outside the box again - get my GP quickly!'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"These are smart socks. They will crawl themselves to the clothes hamper when you throw them on the floor. Make sure they're charged before wearing them."

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

Man Tries Use Telescope In Observatory As Cannon.

'Now Gregory needed an investor to take his Gentlemen's Lavatory Tongs from dream to reality.'

"If you don't have weights at home, try using canned food or the psychological burden of simply existing in this world!"

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

Of course, Hal rented a car with economy gps.

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

"C'mere, space heater."

'If the pound is worth so little, can I have a couple?'

"Uh, Dad, I appreciate the 'walkin' around money,' but I need 'walkin' around New York City money.'"

I know you're a starving writer, but is paper really that expensive?

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

'I think I see your problem. You didn't use the swear words listed in the assembly instructions.'

"How much if I pedal?"

After leaving the monastery, which one of these guys invented rock 'n' roll?