English Lessons Gifts

'The grammar in your report is terrible!'

"Welcome! Your seating is reserved, I'll be your server. The specials today are math, history, and English!"

Limerick of the day.

'He's trying to spell novice and asked if he could buy a vowel,'

A Puppet Named Juan

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

Nathaniel Hawthorne

He kept up his guitar practise...

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Punctuation Police

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Shakespeare was bisexual

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'Stick them up...'

Thomas Hardy

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

"Letters would be all right if they'd just let us leave them in alphabetical order."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

Grade 2 Cellist

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

'Now, what's Italian for pizza?'