Engagement Humor Aficionado Pillows

'That guy just asked me to marry him -- how kinky can you get?'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

Try Mediation

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"You're hogging the covers again!"

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

'Are we there yet, I love surprises.'

'Oh my! He finally proposed!'

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

It is my mother's, she uses it as an anchor for our yacht.

'Would you merge your mutual fund with mine?'

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

"I'd rather you'd said it with diamonds."

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

Still Lives: 'What's wrong, don't you love me anymore?'

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

50,000 BC: The First Engagement Ring.

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

'His ego needs lipo suction!'

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

'I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer.'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

'How do you propose to support my daughter on the earnings of a tooth fairy?'

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

'My wife likes it when I help out in the kitchen.'

"I told you. All men are reptiles.!