Engagement Humor Fan Pillows

'Your fiance had a business meeting she couldn't miss. I'm a temp.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Life is for the birds.

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

"First date hairball... awkward."

The Brothers Grime

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

10 K Tail-Chase

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

The Snooze Bar.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

Beer Parasol.

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

No, I don

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

tRUMp, Pirate President

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."

"It's Doris Kearns Goodwin. Is there anything we'd like to know about the Presidency?"

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

"Fish finder."

The bird feeder.