Engaged Couples Gifts

"I didn't hire a photographer. I thought we'd save a few bob by just taking, wedding selfies."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Cry babies.

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Mixed Doubles.

Couples' therapy

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

Family with pets.

His Her Cakes

"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'We'd just like to get away from all leading economic indicators for a while.'

Home Business - Electric Stapler.

'If that's a proposal, I accept!'

The Russian Election.

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

"... Oh, don't worry, I won't 'overcook it'... I hope you like, sushi."

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'