Energy Production Gifts

"Is nuclear power the frying pan or the fire?"

EPA - Environmental Persecution Agency.

'Peaceful yes - but in the event of war, all we have to do is hurl our radioactive waste at them.'

Coal Liquidifcation Plant/Oil Solidification Plant.

'It's a shut-and-open case.'

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

Buster Keaton

New music conference

"That concludes my presentation on popular music and alternative energy."

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

'Dad, would you ming standing up, then accidentally tripping on the dog and falling flat on your face? I'll try to get it in one shot.'

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

'Be patient. This summer they'll be 60 feet tall'

Fred deciding which sort of power to use to cut wood for his wood burning air conditioner.

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

Impatient Oil Drillers LTD.

'There's a renewable source the government should use.'

"To join OPEC you must be a country and filthy rich in oil."

"Here's the problem."

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

Is this what they call inherent safety?

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger

"So how much money do you make?"

"Yahoo! We struck earthfriendly oil."

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

"Gas, is it the future?"