End Of Season Party Gifts

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"Ron didn't realise he was so popular."

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"I think it stopped breathing."

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"That's unanimous then - we don't know what to do."

Thesaurus Company

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"I've got a strict work/life policy at work... Anyone who has a life doesn't work anymore!"

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

Football team discussions.

'And this will be our strategic plan for the coming year.'

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

Best Scapegoat

"My compliments to the sommelier."

'All right, so you've prepared your resignation . . . let me have it!'

'There always seems to be ONE trouble-maker in the company who gets a sick thrill from rebelling against our corporate culture!'

'And, lastly, I'd like to thank Chuck for his years of service. He'll be leaving the company next month to spend more time with his cash and cash equivalents.'

'Before you go, introduce yourself, so that I know who you were...'

"Oh, Lord! Not another wine-and-cheese party!"

'Well at least they afforded me the courtesy of not using email,'

'We need to dance around this issue. Get me someone from the choreography department.'

"It's my resignation in the form of a graphic novel."

"Who let the dining-room set into the liquor cabinet again?"

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

"Same old crowd."

Budget Munchies