Encyclopedia Enthusiast Pillows

Like every Tuesday, Dirk spends the evening working on his biography on Wikipedia.

The Wiki Man.

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

"Bed Spread"

Eldrow

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

'Does sports trivia count as something I learned today?'

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

A Preschool of Fish

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

Wordplay: Export.

"I found out why we study vocabulary. Last night, my mother told me to ruminate, and I spent three hours in my room."

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

Kindergarten. Today; Simon Says. I don't know who this "Simon Says" is, but he could make a killing in product endorsements!

Useless information desk at trivia buff convention

In an unprecedented occurrence, Noah Webster fails his vocabulary test.

Dreams I have had...

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

'At first it's just kindergarten, but then mission creep takes over and you're in college.'

"Dinosaurs are cool!"

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

'Sometimes, from time to time, occasionally I wish I'd never bought that ruddy thesaurus!'

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

"Fifty years in academia, studying, researching, writing and teaching. And what do they call me? ‘The Human AI’."

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

Abacus.

"Nice to have you all back at school, tap-tap, there are lessons to learn."

The Month of July

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.