Encryption Enthusiast Gifts

'I would have called you sooner, but I had no idea you handled ransomware attacks!'

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

"Try 'Open underscore sesame.' "

'What you did is you took the encrypted message and instead of decrypting it, you encrypted it further.'

"Today, you're going to spend less time breaking into the school back office website, redirecting air traffic, sending encrypted messages overseas...and more time working on the lesson."

"Ed always wears a poker face. His specialty is password encryption at the NSA."

"Tech support? I want to get my grades encrypted."

'Where was the TSA?'

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

Search for Rare Bitcoin

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

"I warned him not to keep his bitcoins under the mattress."

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"The new computer is great, but we can't get rid of the old one. It knows too much."

CCTV in church.

The Ayatollah Bomb?

'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'

M16 Code-breakers office

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

"This is Pete, our cryptocurrency expert."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

"I think Baxter needs a break."

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'