Employment Rights Activist Gifts

'I've set a new default retirement age.'

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"We need a union!'

The role of administration.

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"But if you were a real boy you wouldn't be allowed to work such long hours."

Worker Rights and the Smoking Ban

Capitalism: Creates, Jobs & Wealth.

"Look - we'll whistle when it's fifteen dollars an hour."

'Here's a signed statement from Vince Cable saying we can get rid of underperforming employees more easily.'

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

"The union is objecting to our 'grotesquely inflated' wages, do you think they'd settle for 'outrageously inflated' instead?"

'In this pyramid we are unionized. We don't accept more than 50 lashes per day.'

A worker is crossing a 'Labor Unions' Bridge - It is starting to come apart.

The Trans Pacific Partnership! Negotiated in Secret! No input from labor, consumer, or environmental organizations...

'The problem is, you don't take enough pride in your temporary, no benefit, below living wage job!'

'The Human Right Act bans any cruel of unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite out ENTIRE staff care policy!'

'Let's be fair and take a vote - how many here think we need a minimum wage increase?'

"As a show of our commitment to your right to work, we're happy to offer you a contract that meets all your demands."

'In other words, we want you to get paid like our union employees.'

"When given a choice, a lot of them prefer eternal torment over being stuck in a 9 to 5 job."

'The union card does it every time.'

"We located our factory in your country because there is no word for leisure in your language."

Labor abuse

Elves' Union Presents Demands To Santa Claus

'We're unable to bring you the special report on the coalminers' strike because of the cameraman's strike.'

"A serf? We don't call you 'serfs' anymore. Nowadas we call you flexibly employed staff members!"

USA Slavery

'You're offering me a job, eh? -- does it have portable benefits?'

'Great! That was blocking my view of the powerful tides of wild capitalism.'