Employee Rights Activist Gifts

Labor Day 2011

Elves' Union Presents Demands To Santa Claus

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"We need a union!'

The role of administration.

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"But if you were a real boy you wouldn't be allowed to work such long hours."

Sick

'Enough is enough. We're sick of being overworked and underpaid.'

Worker Rights and the Smoking Ban

"We don't need no stinkin' unions...I saw it on the internet."

Capitalism: Creates, Jobs & Wealth.

"Look - we'll whistle when it's fifteen dollars an hour."

We're so pleased with your twenty years work, we've decided to offer you a two year short term contract.

'Here's a signed statement from Vince Cable saying we can get rid of underperforming employees more easily.'

"The union is objecting to our 'grotesquely inflated' wages, do you think they'd settle for 'outrageously inflated' instead?"

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

'In this pyramid we are unionized. We don't accept more than 50 lashes per day.'

The Trans Pacific Partnership! Negotiated in Secret! No input from labor, consumer, or environmental organizations...

Pennybags Monster

A worker is crossing a 'Labor Unions' Bridge - It is starting to come apart.

'Let's be fair and take a vote - how many here think we need a minimum wage increase?'

They Even Use Astronomy to Screw Workers

'The Human Right Act bans any cruel of unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite out ENTIRE staff care policy!'

'The problem is, you don't take enough pride in your temporary, no benefit, below living wage job!'

"Goes to show ou can't please all of the people all of the time!"

"As a show of our commitment to your right to work, we're happy to offer you a contract that meets all your demands."

'In other words, we want you to get paid like our union employees.'

"When given a choice, a lot of them prefer eternal torment over being stuck in a 9 to 5 job."

'The union card does it every time.'

"We located our factory in your country because there is no word for leisure in your language."

USA Slavery

'My union prevented taking away our dental plan to pay for executive bonuses!'

Labor abuse