Emotional Struggles Gifts

Depression.

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

Eldrow

'Great Therapy!'

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"We don't talk anymore."

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

'Hold on, Baby, Hold on!'

Wanna talk about it?

Prawn Amend

When life gives you lemons...

Cliche Amusement Park. This park is no fun at all --- It's too much like real life! Look, that ride is called "The Emotional Roller Coaster." Over there is "Life's Ups and Downs"! ... and "The Mood Swings"! Look! The good old "Tunnel of Love"! Finally! A ride that's just a fun escape! Out of ardor. "Out of ardor" --- More real life. (Published originally Sept. 4, 2005.)

'You do make me laugh, Ron, but a relationship can't survive on laughter alone.'

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

Well, if being married isn't grounds for divorce, I'd like to know what is"

"See how controlling he is?!"

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

'Whenever he feels under attack, he calls for backup.'

"You keep everything bottled up inside."

'The marriage counseling session didn't help -- she still claims she never saw me before in her life.'

"She called me immature, And if that wasn't bad enough, she burst my bouncy castle."

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

'Right, how can I help you?' 'Your wife is having it off with my husband!'

Unmanned drones.

'I get the feeling lately that some of the magic has gone out of our relationship.'