Emotional Rollercoaster Champion Gifts

"You father and I are very proud of you and infuriated with you, respectively."

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

'When you said this movie's about a fish out of water, I was expecting more of a light-hearted comedy.'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

Waterfall of Disappointment

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

Joe's Bar: Happy Hour 5-9, Utter Despair 10-12.

'The trouble with Nigel is that he's so changeable. One minute I love him and the next minute I loathe him.'

Tragedy! When the feeling's gone and you can't go on.

"You have to remember you're not responsible for other people's happiness."

"You're sucking all the fun out of my misery."

'We're in a hurry.'

"I see your thirty. I hear your thirty. I validate your thirty."

Man reads from card at awards ceremony: 'And the award for Best Actress goes to ...'

'Don't hate me just because I hate you.'

"I said our marriage was a 'go', Brenda. I didn't say it was a 'confirmed go'."

"While I no longer laugh in the face of adversity, occasionally I can manage a contemptuous snort."

Real Time vs Emotional Time

Laughing till you cry

What's your problem? I love my wife... And I hate my mistress.

'I don't feel at home on the range any more!'

'She vacillates between PBS and PMS.'

"What is it about an unfavorable soccer outcome that makes me want to wreak immediate havoc in the streets?"

"Good—now put it back."

Rollercoaster - in and out gates.

"Our little girl is growing up - this very morning she told me she hates me."

'I've pencilled in time for the grieving process.'

Bipolar Bear.

'I'm mad as hell, but also very apathetic.'

STRIP *The Fan * Thinking of ditching Coventry City

Mood Swings.

Bipolar Institute - grIN and pOUT.

'You have 17 new conflicting messages...'

Stock Market Index Fund and In case of Emergency Manic Depressive Therapy.