Emotional Expression Advocate Pillows

"How to communicate better with your mate"

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"You're not a real fan. You're just dressed up like a slut for attention."

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

Autocensure

"Without mentioning any names, certain questionable liberties have been taken with our dress code."

'Sometimes, I'm like... wow! And then, I'm like... whoa! And then, I'm like... damn!'

"This next song is for my ex-wife Joan."

'Don't act too happy that school's out. You'll hurt our teacher's feelings.'

'Look, I know I'm just the bread, but I feel like you guys aren't being emotionally honest with each other and it's going to cause problems down the road.'

I defend to the death your right to say things I agree with.

Tattoo Parlour Could you do me something in this season's colours

Pregnant woman enters door marked: 'Mommy Time ... With Pre and Post-Natal Hug Therapy'

"This isn't his audition...he's telling us about being an actor."

“You must be this self aware and emotionally secure to go on this ride”

'I'm afraid to ask.'

"Oh George. My heart."

Laughing till you cry

Sadly, Barbara was the only one to show up at the support group for those with abandonment issues.

"Have you tried wearing a beret set at a jaunty angle?"

Question Authority. But don't be too picky about the answers.

"I hardly fly anymore. The emotional baggage fees were killing me."

"I've learned to express my anger through my writing instead."

Effeminate cowboy applies lipstick from a gun-belt loaded with lipsticks.

"I tried blogging, texting and tweeting. . . but there's no better way to express anger than barking!"

"You know, Dave, with just a little more sharing on your part, I'm sure we could make my problems our problems."

I saw that! Saw what? You just had tears in your eyes. The end of the movie made you cry! Did not. Why not just admit it? What's the big deal? It was a sad movie and you cried. It happens to everyone. You think you're above normal emotions? Are you better than the rest of us?! No. Fine, okay. It was sad. Maybe my eyes were a little moist. Girly man! Look at the crying girly man! Can't win.

"I respect and appreciate how hard the spilled milk is for you."

'I spoke to my therapist and she says it's okay if I don't like you.'

Human empathy

'Always had difficulty expressing my anger. Even before the botox injections.'

"Happy National Pride Month."