Emotional Advocate Pillows

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

Can't even hold signs well.

The Female Brain and The Other One

Woman walking into Inner Beauty Salon.

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"We added it just for the millenials."

"How to communicate better with your mate"

"When you hold me like this, you make me feel I can do anything."

"I'm referring you to another therapy dog."

'I think your son is being bullied. He's suffering 80% Chinese wrist burns.'

Love for the family

"I suggest you take an Empathy pill every day."

"Sure, pat down strangers all day, but I ask for one little hug..."

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'Don't act too happy that school's out. You'll hurt our teacher's feelings.'

'Look, I know I'm just the bread, but I feel like you guys aren't being emotionally honest with each other and it's going to cause problems down the road.'

"I see your thirty. I hear your thirty. I validate your thirty."

'It's good to talk.'

STRIP *Community Care * Office rage"

Pregnant woman enters door marked: 'Mommy Time ... With Pre and Post-Natal Hug Therapy'

No safe haven

"Get a hold of yourself, Jerry! We ALL knew the risks we were taking with the new corporate motto. When you care, it's easy to get hurt!"

“You must be this self aware and emotionally secure to go on this ride”

"Of course I'm listening to your expression of spiritual suffering. Don't you see me making eye contact, striking an open posture, leaning towards you and nodding emphatically."

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

"Unbelievable! Why isn't anybody doing something against the awful dog poverty?"

'Please, sir -- I appeal to your common humanity!'

"I just can't see or hear what you are saying."

"There was nothing you could do. It's not your fault if the patient doesn't show for the operation!"