Emotional Attorney Pillows

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

University Soapflakes

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

Go ahead and dissect me

Woman walking into Inner Beauty Salon.

"I pick up on people's pain, Alexander. What's wrong?"

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"How to communicate better with your mate"

"My aloofness is a mask."

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

Broken Heart

'Don't act too happy that school's out. You'll hurt our teacher's feelings.'

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. Here, try this."

"The tissues are for crying."

'Look, I know I'm just the bread, but I feel like you guys aren't being emotionally honest with each other and it's going to cause problems down the road.'

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'It's good to talk.'

"I'm competitive,cruel,glad when my friends fail...I've no idea why I'm here."

'Of course I love her - but I'm not in love with her.'

"I've got pride but no shame."

Psychiatry visit.

Pregnant woman enters door marked: 'Mommy Time ... With Pre and Post-Natal Hug Therapy'

“You must be this self aware and emotionally secure to go on this ride”

'Disappointed? You ask if I'm disappointed? Well, Arthur, after 38 years of patiently peeling away one onion layer after another, I'll admit I HAD hoped there was something more that a tough, green sprout-thingie at your core!'

'She thinks I'm always trying to put her down, but what does she know?'

Empathy School for Trump

'...But I suppose such feelings are normal.'

One line a day... Diary 2020

"Whoa! Now there's a memory you ought to just keep repressed."

"You seem calm above the surface, but underneath I feel as if you're paddling like hell away from me."

You're right. It's not fear I smell but angst with a hint of regret.