Emotional Attorney Pillows

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

Woman walking into Inner Beauty Salon.

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"I pick up on people's pain, Alexander. What's wrong?"

"How to communicate better with your mate"

"My aloofness is a mask."

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

Broken Heart

'Don't act too happy that school's out. You'll hurt our teacher's feelings.'

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. Here, try this."

'Look, I know I'm just the bread, but I feel like you guys aren't being emotionally honest with each other and it's going to cause problems down the road.'

"The tissues are for crying."

'It's good to talk.'

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

"I'm competitive,cruel,glad when my friends fail...I've no idea why I'm here."

Psychiatry visit.

Pregnant woman enters door marked: 'Mommy Time ... With Pre and Post-Natal Hug Therapy'

'Of course I love her - but I'm not in love with her.'

"I've got pride but no shame."

“You must be this self aware and emotionally secure to go on this ride”

'Disappointed? You ask if I'm disappointed? Well, Arthur, after 38 years of patiently peeling away one onion layer after another, I'll admit I HAD hoped there was something more that a tough, green sprout-thingie at your core!'

'She thinks I'm always trying to put her down, but what does she know?'

"You know what I bet it is? I bet we're breaking up but we just don't realize it yet."

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

One line a day... Diary 2020

"You seem calm above the surface, but underneath I feel as if you're paddling like hell away from me."