Emergency Services Aficionados Gifts

I got woken by my neighbour's fire alarm last night. - 'I went to dial 999 but I hit the 'hash' key by accident.' - 'I got put through to the Jamaican Embassy...' - 'They just said, 'Take it easy, Peel. Everything is gonna be alright.'' -

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Being Serenading in Casualty

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"Honey! What's wrong. . . Mommy get you a band-aid!"

"First save Mister chomp-chomp!"

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Tsunami Evac Route

Helicopter

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

Paramedics.

"My God, now what?"

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Break Glass in Case of Fire: Tiny Firemen.

Fire Backwards.

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon

'Oh - It's you.'

'Now, lift and squeeze the diaphragm.' ... 'Sweet.'

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

"I've got a pulse!"

Why dogs hate CPR.

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and FAST!'

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

"Quick! Turn the siren on!"

Hospital: Accident and Emergency and On Purpose and Suffering Nicely.

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

"We ran into a marathon."

"Hello, A and E, which department do you need, stabbing, shooting or general GBH?"

"He fought like hell."

"Whoa...not so fast! First of all please tell me your address, your health insurance number, and spell your name for me, Mr. HelpI'mBleedingToDeath."

'Just this once sir, we need the overtime.'

Man with mobile phone says: 'I can't call for help, I'm filming this for the TV news.'

'I said he needs an ambulance! Not ambiance!'

'Which is it, Bill? You had a terrible accident and survived without a scratch. Or, you had a terrible accident and lost a lot of blood?'