Emergency Nurse Gifts

Worker: 'QUICK, does anybody here know First Aid?!' / Worker: 'Yeah, him.'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

First aid in mountains

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

In case of overcrowding in the ER break glass.

First aid departments

'Is it urgent?'

'Where does it hurt?'

'Where does it hurt?'

'Sorry, shortage of staff.'

"Sorry -- The doctor is out -- But we have like 10 influencers available."

'Get the theatre ready we got another one from the cocktail bar.'

Doctor Flattened By The ER Rush

'Looks like we could have a pandemic on our hands.'

'Who's your next of kin? When did you last eat or drink? Do you have any allergies? Are you wearing clean underpants?'

'My mom told me to keep my hands out of the cookie jar, but nothing about my head.'

'Next.'

Drat. Your bolts are metric,but my tools aren't.

The firehouse has a cat instead of a dalmation.

Operation/Grim Reaper

Musical Accidents

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

Emergency Room: 'Quick! Get some ice on this injury.'

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.

"Clear!"

'So do you want one with an accelerator, or one with brakes?'

"He fought like hell."

ER, The Musical: 'I'm a medic...' 'n' I'm a medic...' 'They're a paramedics!'

'This one was too patient.'

Advertisements for 'Brother Marsh- faith healer and Deacon 'Speed' Alton- emergency room'.