Emergency Meal Master Pillows

Chef: In Case of Emergency - can opener and canned food.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

National Coffee Day

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"I'm unable to process this image."

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

"How 'local' is the fish?"

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

"Michael, do your dinner."

'You followed the recipie but it's missing the secret ingredient: Mom.'

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

"You folks ready to order?"

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten, or extra gluten."

'Compliment me on my perfect pronunciation of this junk,and there'll be a good tip in it for you.'

"I have a strong personal commitment to dinner."

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.

"Don't order anything that will embarass me."

"It's just that I would be more thankful if we had roast beef."

Real Fast Food.

'Bird menu.'

Girls night!

Catering for a large family.

"Those aren't three-star-restaurant pants."

Grandchildren's Menu: Whatever's on your plate and no funny business

'SPRING water-in the middle of summer???'

'Not THAT glass, you idiot.'

"Snowflake, quit eyeballing me!"

Survival of the Foodiest