Emergency Guru T-Shirts

Worker: 'QUICK, does anybody here know First Aid?!' / Worker: 'Yeah, him.'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Robots In The Boardroom

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"I see you've security marked your property."

The Modern Novel.

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

"Don't forget to put some sunscreen on your tongue."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

AI Safety Officer

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

"The sky looks blue because your protective lenses are tinted, dear."

Windows or Mac?

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

Crocodile Selfie

"It's a self-driving skateboard."

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

'My purse! The original 24-hour pharmacy.'

Job Safety - Hardhat.

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

Nice park. . .

"What? More deliveries? Man, I never should have leased out my cloud for data storage."

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

Of course we're faster and more powerful now. I just think we commanded more respect when we filled an entire room.

"Yes, binary is really kicking in."

'Don't be nervous but I think we're about to go LIVE on the new system.'

Atlas carrying Earth about to slip on banana peel.