Survival Guru T-Shirts

John rejoices at the the maturing of his corn crops as he will finally have a suitable side dish to go along with fish.

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

65 Million Years Ago

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

Goldfish bowl on raft...

"I see you've security marked your property."

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

"Don't forget to put some sunscreen on your tongue."

Desert Island Mishap

AI Safety Officer

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

"The sky looks blue because your protective lenses are tinted, dear."

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

That's actually the gorilla survival manoeuvre. . .

Job Safety - Hardhat.

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

'Rubbing sticks together was a great idea. After 40 minutes, I'm so warm I don't need a fire!'

'I hate evolution!'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

Atlas carrying Earth about to slip on banana peel.

Help! Send fishing tackle!

Nice park. . .

Beware of Everything

'Not likely - the last time I went in one of those, it sank!'