Emcees Who Love Science Pillows

E=Emcee Squared

"Talk nerdy to me."

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

The Origins of Everything

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

"One day mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

'Catch this!'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

'It's a government funded study to find out how many wrongs make a right.'

Bacteria fame at last.

"To return to normal height professor, we simply: 1. Switch on The Nano-Ray. 2. Find the Plug; 3. Insert it..."

'I don't know whether we should call the world pres or keep quiet?'

Isaac Newton and the Apple Tree

"When you think about it, you have to be a complete idiot not to believe aliens crashed at Roswell in 1947." "Before 1947: primitive cars, planes, and radio. After 1947: space ships, quantum computing, internet." "Let me try... Before 1947: no bikinis. After 1947: bikinis." "No, wait... The bikini was 1946. That throws this whole theory into question." "We really should have our own science show."

"I feel it's only fair to warn you, Dr. Thompson, that watching cell division can be quite stimulating!"

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

'The stand-up geneticist'

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

Microscope slide

'Granted we have to do the research. And we can do some research on the research. but I don't think we should get involved in research on research on research.'

"I sure do have a family. There's my wife's DNA and my kid's DNA."

"...then - and here's the funny part - I add the potassium sulfate..."

Crazy Scientist

The Great Chemical Novel.

'I'm sick of writing grant proposals on spec.'

'Good news, Darling, they can clone cats.'

A ship sails on water flowing off a flat Earth.