Embarrassment Avoider Gifts

"It's sundown. Where is he? Did I tell him sundown or sunrise? I said sunrise...I must look ridiculous."

'Don't be so paranoid. We're not gossiping about what happened to you yesterday ... at 11:43 am.'

"How embarrassing. Please, just leave me home next time you go to the Laundromat."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

Nervous at a party.

"Baldo, we need to talk."

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

"Singing makes me self-conscious."

Chatty, garlic-coffee breath, apathetic, contagious

"What an awful morning. I left home without my phone."

Snoozed when I should have schmoozed.

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

"Regarding earnings guidance, as my mother used to say: 'If you can't say something nice, don't say anything'. I'll be shutting up now."

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

I've got to run to my job interview! Do I have spinach between my teeth?

"I invited a few friends over. Don’t worry – you can still be miserable."

Herman likes to stay in his comfort zone.

'Please excuse my mother, this is my first interview.'

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

"I didn't mind the panel interview, but I got creeped out by the group hug at the end."

"We came early to avoid the conga line."

'Play among yourselves while I deal with my stage fright.'

Not in the mood for human interaction line

'I roll over and play dead when I don't want to see someone.'

'And Rachel, if you're not back by midnight, this video of you taking a bath in our kitchen sink when you were 2 is getting posted on Youtube.'

"It's just if the TV isn't on I never know where to look."

'If the ECG isn't broken then we have problem'

"You just watch him Ethel. He'll sit there and say nothing, just to annoy me."

"So they wanted the bathroom?"

Please stop trying to engage me in conversation, Lars. Can't you tell when a wolverine is engrossed in a book? Sure, that's easy. They move their snouts when they read.

"Public display of rejection"

"I wouldn't say you embarrassed yourself. It was more like social self-immolation."