Email Snubber Pillows

"Any yet he's always on my case."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

'To cut back on traveling expenses, we're going to start sending you out as an e-mail attachment.'

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

Spam in inbox.

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

Email Notifications

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

"I finally got myself organized and unsubscribed from all those-e-mails."

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

While you were out...

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

'We're keeping Edwards because he forwards the funnier e-mails.'

"I hypnotized him into exercising every time he gets a spam in his inbox. He works out 50 times a day."

"Can't talk now - ping me, yeah?"

"Most men have a tankard, but oh no, not you."

'Yes, I'm gaining weight! Deleting spam all morning makes me really hungry for lunch!'

'Hell, no, I don't want any sake.'

The man who bought a sofa that was not in a sale.

'You have too much salt in your diet.'

"Sorry. We're strictly store-goers."

E-mail

This is a very friendly email program. It dots the i's and crosses the t's with mustaches.

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

'Another one,Quick! Al,hand me the landing net.'

Santa deleting his e-mails.

'Enough with all the strategic planning. Just get out there and kill something.'

'Karen, you know that stupid chain e-mail that you deleted? 'Forward within two hours or a hideous spell will befall you!' I just got it too! Dee-lete!'

My spam sketchbook; or, who are these people?

"Our privacy terms have changed. Do you care?"