Email Spam Fighter Pillows

"I hypnotized him into exercising every time he gets a spam in his inbox. He works out 50 times a day."

'I'll try blaming it on auto correct and if that doesn't work, I'll blame you.'

Email Notifications

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

Meet the People of the Internet

Your computer is not fully protected...

"Good news, your majesty. We may already be a winner."

"We have to develop a new way to build our customer base. Antispam software has put a dent in our marketing strategy."

Pandora's Inbox

'Yes, I'm gaining weight! Deleting spam all morning makes me really hungry for lunch!'

'No dear, there's no post - only junk mail.'

'Oh no! We're being spammed again!'

"Your compulsive talk about crazy diets, get rich schemes, and mail order drugs -- your pacemaker's been hacked and you're spamming."

"Our planet no longer wants to receive email from yours."

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."

Internet crap.

'Wow! I've got one from someone I know!'

'Okay, sir, can you identify the spam?'

The eMailman's Creed

Spam on Mousetrap

'We need to add an eleventh - 'thou shalt not spam.'

'Another ad for penis-enlargement.'

"If you want proof that your email is working again, then you can read all the spam you just received."

Vote McWhirtle. No salesman will call!

'Any collateral other than this letter from a Nigerian banker's widow?'

Email Forwards - Self Treatment for Hemorrhoids.

'Can't you take out the trash, Mom? ? I'm busy deleting junk e-mail.'

"Listen ma'am, I'll cut to the chase. We just want your money."

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