Email Spam Fighter Pillows

"I hypnotized him into exercising every time he gets a spam in his inbox. He works out 50 times a day."

'I'll try blaming it on auto correct and if that doesn't work, I'll blame you.'

Email Notifications

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

Meet the People of the Internet

'To placate the public, we've done away with the cash bonuses and have found another way to compensate you.'

Your computer is not fully protected...

"Good news, your majesty. We may already be a winner."

"We have to develop a new way to build our customer base. Antispam software has put a dent in our marketing strategy."

'Yes, I'm gaining weight! Deleting spam all morning makes me really hungry for lunch!'

'Oh no! We're being spammed again!'

Pandora's Inbox

'No dear, there's no post - only junk mail.'

"Your compulsive talk about crazy diets, get rich schemes, and mail order drugs -- your pacemaker's been hacked and you're spamming."

"Our planet no longer wants to receive email from yours."

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."

Internet crap.

'Wow! I've got one from someone I know!'

'Okay, sir, can you identify the spam?'

Spam on Mousetrap

The eMailman's Creed

'We need to add an eleventh - 'thou shalt not spam.'

CR was here. Tony rules! Hello, I'm a Nigerian general's widow. I have a large amount of securities that I need to transfer. Graffiti was bad enough, but now we have graffiti spam!

'Another ad for penis-enlargement.'

Vote McWhirtle. No salesman will call!

"If you want proof that your email is working again, then you can read all the spam you just received."

'Any collateral other than this letter from a Nigerian banker's widow?'

Email Forwards - Self Treatment for Hemorrhoids.

'Can't you take out the trash, Mom? ? I'm busy deleting junk e-mail.'

"Listen ma'am, I'll cut to the chase. We just want your money."