Spam Mail Warrior Pillows

"Thank you for your recent E-mail. However, I am completely satisfied with the size of my penis."

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

"No, he's not on any antidepressants. His euphoric mood is coming from me installing a robocall blocker on his phone."

"I hit reply all too many times."

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

Meet the People of the Internet

"Well that email could have been a meeting."

Your computer is not fully protected...

"Good news, your majesty. We may already be a winner."

"I only wish emails could deliver papercuts."

Spam.

"I hypnotized him into exercising every time he gets a spam in his inbox. He works out 50 times a day."

"We have to develop a new way to build our customer base. Antispam software has put a dent in our marketing strategy."

Pandora's Inbox

'No dear, there's no post - only junk mail.'

"Our planet no longer wants to receive email from yours."

"Your compulsive talk about crazy diets, get rich schemes, and mail order drugs -- your pacemaker's been hacked and you're spamming."

E-mail

Less than Ultimate Fighting.

'Oh no! We're being spammed again!'

Amateur Spam.

'No, now I'm just fighting inbox inequality."

"This the nastiest email that I ever read. I want to use it as our new template."

'Yes, I'm gaining weight! Deleting spam all morning makes me really hungry for lunch!'

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

'He's our Spam expert!'

E-mail message - You have a message that isn't junk!

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."