Spam Mail Warrior T-Shirts

"Thank you for your recent E-mail. However, I am completely satisfied with the size of my penis."

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

"No, he's not on any antidepressants. His euphoric mood is coming from me installing a robocall blocker on his phone."

"I hit reply all too many times."

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

'To placate the public, we've done away with the cash bonuses and have found another way to compensate you.'

Meet the People of the Internet

"Well that email could have been a meeting."

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

Your computer is not fully protected...

"Good news, your majesty. We may already be a winner."

"I hypnotized him into exercising every time he gets a spam in his inbox. He works out 50 times a day."

Spam.

"I only wish emails could deliver papercuts."

"We have to develop a new way to build our customer base. Antispam software has put a dent in our marketing strategy."

'Let me guess. Your boss sent you a nasty e-mail, and you're composing your reply.'

E-mail

'No, now I'm just fighting inbox inequality."

'No dear, there's no post - only junk mail.'

Pandora's Inbox

Amateur Spam.

'Oh no! We're being spammed again!'

'Yes, I'm gaining weight! Deleting spam all morning makes me really hungry for lunch!'

"Our planet no longer wants to receive email from yours."

Less than Ultimate Fighting.

"This the nastiest email that I ever read. I want to use it as our new template."

"Your compulsive talk about crazy diets, get rich schemes, and mail order drugs -- your pacemaker's been hacked and you're spamming."

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

'He's our Spam expert!'

E-mail message - You have a message that isn't junk!