Email Escapologist Pillows

"I'm out if that is a manufacturer."

'Out of office - Please leave your emails in the inbox next door.'

"This is Munch's 'Sent to all by mistake'."

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

"I've just about had it with these corporate retreats!"

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

"Outta my way. I need to check my email!"

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

Man at Fire Escape sees door with 'Hot Button Issues Escape',

"Master, you have 175,568 unread messages in your inbox."

Spam.

Mary had a little spam

Academics at the Beach: Professor Wilson receives his email messages by the use of willpower alone.

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

"Don't be afraid – it's just your office,"

worker sign: weeks to retirement changable 2078,

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."

'Good, I was hoping to catch you before you left.'

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

Spam.

"Let me assure you voters that my life is an open email...at least it is since that last Russian cyber attack."

"I am afraid Mr. Jones is in his career coaching session. Can I get him to call you back?"

Houdini 2019

"IF you wanted to leave, why didn't you just say so?"

"If my husband finds out about us. . .listen, we must cover our tracks so well that no one believes that dinosaurs and humans existed at the same time!"

'I know those big money deals from NIGERIA are a scam, but this e-mail is from NEW GUINEA!'

'I've located the source of all that annoying spam we've been receiving...preparing to destroy.'

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

"If you don't give us your email address we show up at your house."

'That's why your checkbook balance looks so good. You sent all of your online bills to the junk file.'