Email Escapists Gifts

Mary had a little spam

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

The Great Pyramid of Paperwork

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

'I'm thinking of cutting my hours down to 24/7."

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

"I've just about had it with these corporate retreats!"

"I don't know what in blazes it means either, but just to be safe we'll put extra men on watch tonight."

Email Notifications

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

"Outta my way. I need to check my email!"

The Eternal Question

Man at Fire Escape sees door with 'Hot Button Issues Escape',

"Don't be afraid – it's just your office,"

Academics at the Beach: Professor Wilson receives his email messages by the use of willpower alone.

"Master, you have 175,568 unread messages in your inbox."

Spam.

'At last, dusk...and my e-mails!'

Sadly, the few who actually checked their e-mail, were too out of shape to run.

"I'm thinking your email must have gotten directed into my 'Oh no, that guy again' folder."

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.

Spam.

'Out of office - Please leave your emails in the inbox next door.'

"Sending out 1300 redundancy notices by mistake was a bit of a blooper!"

"Let me assure you voters that my life is an open email...at least it is since that last Russian cyber attack."

"I am afraid Mr. Jones is in his career coaching session. Can I get him to call you back?"

Gone Phishing

Overworked colleague calling the Samaritans.

'I know those big money deals from NIGERIA are a scam, but this e-mail is from NEW GUINEA!'

'I've located the source of all that annoying spam we've been receiving...preparing to destroy.'

"Another company thinks I might like to keep receiving their emails!"