Email Commander Gifts

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Out and In.

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

Second lifeReal life.

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

Spam in Hell.

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Executive Asks Death To Wait

'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

Spam in inbox.

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

E-waste - 'Well there's another hour gone on email.'

"Outta my way. I need to check my email!"

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

'Im so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all.'